2010/11 Diary

2009/10 Diary

2008/09 Diary

2007/08 Diary

by Has N. Gottaklu, Chief Sports Editor, The Island Bay Times

A stirring opening to the 2006/07 season saw new boys Barca Bay equip themselves very well against perennial pre-season favourites, Massey Coolmoves. Barca’, playing in their first ever game of Mt Albert rules football, not surprisingly took a little time to adjust, and soon found themselves a goal behind. But after an edgy first ten minutes they gave as good as they got for the remainder of the first half, and were a little unlucky to be two-down by the break when Mark Leeming opened his account for the season with a thirty-first minute strike.

The second half began dramatically. Paddy “Hitman” Hackett, making his debut for Massey, conceded a penalty after launching himself scud-like at an advancing Barca’ attacker. Hackett successfully intercepted the ball, the man and a large chunk of the hallowed Mt Albert turf, but on a day when the slide-tackle rule was to be the cause of some controversy, this was a clear infringement under Summer League rules. John Borley calmly slotted the penalty and notched his place in Summer League history as Barca’ Bay’s first ever goal-scorer. Massey responded with a typical counter attacking goal expertly finished by Lance Jensen and their two goal advantage was restored. But Barca’ did not give in, and in a frantic and dramatic last quarter, Barca’ deservedly levelled the game as John Borley netted his second on sixty-four minutes and Dominic Scott added a third just three minutes later. The game ended in melodramatic fashion as both Lance Jenson and Jamie Milne were sent from the field for, in the words of the referee’s report, “fighting over toys in the sandpit”.

All in all though, and excellent opening game and on this form both teams should be challenging for a place in February’s Grand Final.

by Has N. Gottaklu, Chief Sports Editor, The Island Bay Times

Summer League’s most bitter rivals went head-to-head on the opening day of the season and while the fixture lacked some of the fire and brimstone of previous encounters, the result at least was predictable.

HHH have now failed to beat their summer league nemeses in six attempts. The Hs fielded a number of new faces, and while the result may have disappointed, the performance itself showed plenty of promise.

But it was Black Magic’s Summer League debutant Jodie Bullen who stole the show. His hat-trick was very much a match-winning performance and the exquisite volley that gave Black Magic a 3-2 lead early in the last quarter was undoubtedly the turning point of the match.

by Has N. Gottaklu, Chief Sports Editor, The Island Bay Times

In a match that mirrored the deteriorating weather, the third game of the day failed to live up to the standard of the opening two encounters, and on this display both teams will have a lot of work to do to if they are to mount a serious challenge for the Jessett Cup.

In a first half of few clear chances, Paul Mouncey belied his reputation as a wayward finisher to pulverise an unstoppable half-volley past Originals ‘keeper Lye. The second half at least provided some more goal-mouth action, regardless that the lead up work may have been of questionable quality. Paul Muollo, Summer League’s all-time leading goal-scorer brought the defending champions level in the forty-ninth minute. On sixty minutes Ryan du Plessis looked to have snatched the winner for the O’s with a typical poacher's finish.

The ‘Cappers though never gave in, and in the last minute of normal time Phil Jones, largely anonymous until that point, did what he has done so often over the years and conjured an equaliser with a well placed finish from the edge of the area. Both teams should at least go away happy that uninspiring performance’s didn’t end in defeat!

Judas jibes thrown at itinerant players

Whether the return of Wellington United goal-keeper Corb Tate to the site of so many heroic deeds will quell the vehement sense of betrayal being nursed by former Island Bay team-mates and fans alike is yet to be determined. Tate, the former Old Kingstonian semi-pro, left his adopted Island Bay for United at the start of the 2006 campaign. Tate remains unrepentant. “Island Bay had been great to me, and the club will always hold a special place in my heart, but one final shot at the big-time for an old pro’ like me was just too much to resist” says Tate.

While Tate’s sentiment appears genuine, sceptics remain unconvinced that pitting his skills at the highest level was the goal-keeper’s primary motivation. “Look, I know what’s being said around the sheds. But if I was really that concerned with how the canary yellow of Island Bay clashes with my Ralph Lauren ‘Keeper for all Seasons’ designer collection, I’d have hardly gone and swapped it for that clog-hopping orange aberration that United deck out in, would I!”. Even the most unversed in between-the-sticks fashion would struggle to debate that claim. With that in mind, we asked Tate just what was hot – and not – for Summer League 2007?

“White’s a favourite, especially once the ground’s firm up and I’ve done a bit of work on my tan. I’ve also got a nice little red number. It’s a little more fitting and I like to save it for the days when the suns really shining – stunning!”

Tate’s re-signing for Andy Capped for the summer season was never a foregone conclusion. While Tate’s enthusiasm for the game shows no signs of abating, and his authority in the box is as a commanding as ever, Tate’s passage back was never going to be made easy by both supporters and ex-team mates alike. Tate though was unfazed “I had a word with the lads. I know my leaving still hurts a lot of them. When you’ve scaled the heights of semi-professional football, you learn to deal with these things. I know the lads share my passion for the game, so between us we’ll deal with it, especially if they’ve learnt to defend those back post crosses a bit better since I’ve been away!”
 

by Jerry A'Trick, Originals Press Officer

Match Photos
On Saturday the Originals handed HHH Utd (aka hooters) a comprehensive two nil whipping thanks to a goal from captain marvel, Paul Muollo and an own goal [later credited to Ryan Du Plessis by the Summer League dubious goals panel].  

The Originals lined with a captain caveman in goals - eligibility questionable, but hey, we checked his birth certificate and he was born on planet Earth, Nick “the marauding striker” Kyne, Mike “ankle nipper” DG, and Gary, “I’m the oldest son of” Romijn, Paul “Captain Marvel’ Muollo, Lee “boyband” Westlake, Marty “THE ORIGINAL” Romijn, Peter “china/chungy/weeman” Chung, Ryan “I wrote the book how on how to miss twenty shots in one game” duPussy (who is not to be confused with ri-an two pus-c of il bordello’s).  On the bench was Rod “the closet hibbee” Lawson and Ian “golden boots” whateverhissurnamewas.

The hooters were in our face and all over the Originals in the first half, a bit disturbing but slightly enjoyable. However they didn’t really threaten the goal of captain caveman as the defence was superb (marshalled by boyband and ankle nipper of course). Dupussy, while having fun with the hooters, was causing them some problems with his insightful positioning and constant movement.  Chances fell to dupussy, twice I think, naturally he missed them both, although one was cleared of the line. Boyband had a shot, which ended up in the zoo.

The second half started with the Originals playing with the wind and with dupussy missing his customary sitters, however the originals were in control by this stage and started to squeeze those hooters into submission. Cue goal one, a goal any Hearts fan would be proud of, as there was absolutely no class in it whatsoever. Caveman - long ball; dupussy – flick; marvel - finish left foot. Marvellous. Route one very simple. One nil to the Originals.

The second goal came from a controversial free kick awarded to the Originals. Up stepped dupussy who toe poked it though the solid Italian like wall, it ricocheted off the wall, hit the goalie in the head who let it roll in (PS you should have received the $$ by now, cheers).  OK, maybe the description of the second goal isn’t exactly factually correct, but it’s close enough.

The Originals managed to hold onto the two goal lead and secure 5 valuable points. Fine performances all round, but my man of the match goes to Marty for being able to keep a hold of so many hooters on his own for large periods of the game.

PS. In case you are wondering, Muollo is called captain marvel not for any footballing pedigree, but because he has been around for as long as the comic…..

Match Photos
Report One
by Has N. Gottaklu, Chief Sports Editor, The Island Bay Times

The early game saw the 2006 finalists go head to head for the first time this season. Massey Coolmoves, the defeated finalists, were able to gain a modicum of revenge by chalking up a hard-fought one-nil victory. The winning goal was notched up after just five minutes. Some casual defending by the O’s presented Mark Leeming with a one-on-one opportunity which he nonchalantly slotted from eight yards.

From that point on, the Os faced the dilemma of chasing the game against the Summer League’s most potent counter-attacking force. With that in mind it was a little surprising that there was no further score. The Os came close to levelling mid-way through the first half when Pete Chung’s deft chip rebounded back off the cross bar. Ryan Du Plessis hammered the rebound goal-ward but couldn’t beat the sole Massey defender positioned on the line. A succession of half chances fell to both teams in the second half, the best of them probably going Massey’s way but on this occasion their normally assured finishing deserted them. [Facilitated by one superb save from stand-in keeper Peter Lye - Ed]

Despite losing the game Original’s manager Paul Muollo said that the Os had given their best performance of the season “If we can sharpen up in front of goal we’ll be looking good.” Questioned on the subject of playing a lone striker, Muollo was unrepentant “Look, whenever you play one up front and end a game goalless, this question will always come up. Ryan might be a wee guy but he has a big ticker, if anyone can do the job alone up there, it’s him!” But despite a seemingly supportive public stance from his manager, Muollo’s comments are rumoured to have not gone down well with the striker.

Du Plessis was reported to be unhappy with the size of his organs and their effectiveness in the box being discussed with the media. A source close to Du Plessis said “It’s alright for these Italians, everyone just assumes they’re hung like horses, but that doesn’t give them the right to make other people’s private parts the subject of post-match press conferences!”

Muollo was not amused on hearing news of his discontented front man “This is ridiculous, clearly I’ve been misquoted somewhere. I’ve got no more to add!”

---

Report Two
by Jerry A.Trick, Senior Press Officer, The Originals

The Originals suffered their first loss of the season going down one nil to Massey in a game that doubled as a challenge for the cheese board. I think the Originals may feel a little hard done by, as a 5 1 victory to the Originals may have been a fairer result..

The Originals welcomed back Peter "Mr Obscenity" Lye in goal and Sam "the Man" whatshisname. Tony "Hong Kong phooey" Gaeta was handed his first cap. True to form, while having our team photo taken before the game, Lye had to yell out obscenities to the poor young photographer. "Show us your boobs, he he he", said Lye. Not once, but over, and over again...show some respect and act your age. But then what do you expect from someone educated at Rongotai College?

The game started in, oddly enough, windy conditions with the Originals attacking the northern end. The Originals should have opened the scoring after a few minutes when a glorious chance fell; on his favoured left foot might I add, to captain mullet-head. Unfortunately, he hit his shot straight at the goalkeeper [at the keeper's wedding tackle to be precise - Ed]. A few minutes later that missed chance proved costly, as a misplaced pass allowed Massey to take the lead. However, if Lye had been focusing on his job instead of sniggering (about his earlier comments) and playing with himself (yes, still!!), he could have saved it.

While the goal was an early set back, there was still plenty of time left in this game, surely we would be able to score at least one goal against a team that had leaked in 6 goals in their previous 2 games...yeah right. A couple of other chances fell to the Originals, with the usual suspects missing.
Although to be fair, Ryan's first effort, which was moving, just sailed past the post. His second effort landed on the moon and his third was cleared off the line.

The first of many controversial incidents in the game occurred after about 15 minutes when a second Massey goal was disallowed for off side. No doubt a great call by the ref. The half ended with Massey on top, the Originals puffing and Lye shaking his head, sniggering and muttering "show us ya boobs".

It certainly was a game of two halves as the Originals found another gear and completely dominated the second half but were unable to find the back of the net. I can't really remember who the chances fell to. I do recall Mullet-head hit his quick free kick straight at the wall when the goal was open. No doubt chances fell to Dupussy, boyband, and the original, but they all failed to take them (obviously, seeing I have already given you the score).

Late in the game, as the legs were tiring the game opened up and some chances fell to Massey who couldn't capitalise. Sam hobbled off with an injury. The game ended. 1 nil to Massey. Thank you very much and good-bye. They get to keep the cheese board thingy and 4 points. We get 1 point and a lot of verbal diarrhoea from dupussy on how unlucky he was. And let's not go there as to what Lye was doing after the game. Rumour has it our closet hibbee, Rod, is going to remove sponsorship from Massey following this defeat. And rightly so. Next week it's the Barca boys, the young whipper snappers plus a couple of oldies - trying to reclaim their youth (either that or they are trying to pork the young girlies, no not the ones on the team). Anyway, hopefully dupussy will be able to give us the inside word on their strengths and weaknesses and the Originals can return to winning ways.

by Has N. Gottaklu, Chief Sports Editor, The Island Bay Times

Match Photos
The torment of an 0 from 7 record against the Magic - including a five-nil pasting in last season’s third place play-off – was finally put to rest by the Cappers as they strolled to a surprising but deserved three-nil victory over their most feared opponent.

In a scrappy first half of few chances, the Cappers took an early lead with Ricky Boyd’s perfectly weighted lob over on-loan Magic ‘keeper Lee Westlake. Without doubt this moment was the highlight of Boyd’s afternoon. Less memorable was an attempt on goal in the second half by the same player, which many spectators commented “… was the worst attempt on goal in the history of Summer League.” Boyd’s speculative volley from around 12 yards out down the right-hand channel ended up leaving the field of play over the far touchline, some twenty yards behind Boyd!

Black Magic’s anticipated second half comeback seemed to be materialising when a George Aranyi cross picked out De Graaff but the midfielder’s shot cannoned into the upright. But as the game opened up in the final quarter, it was the Cappers who landed the decisive second goal. A twist and a turn from veteran Phil Jones was finished with an unerring shot into the corner of the net. For Jones, driven from management by the trials, tribulations and constant heartaches suffered by his beloved Cappers, the afternoon was to prove particularly sweet. On seventy-one minutes he was sent clear through and calmly slotted his second goal, allowing the celebrations to begin in earnest.

A wretched afternoon for the Black Magic was typified by an on-field bust-up between two of the Magic’s senior professionals, George Aranyi and Tony Volpicelli. The argument was said to concern the pair’s personal preferences for hair product. Volpicelli flatly denied this “How can you argue with a guy who hasn’t got hair about hair product!” ranted Volpicelli. Aranyi was more forthcoming “Hair product’s fine I guess, but if it’s getting in your eyes when you’re in front of goal, well that’s not very professional, is it!?”

by The Mighty Tor, Chief Press Officer, HHH United

Match Photos
HHH notch up their first win of the 2006/07 season, by taking out the newbies, Barca Bay.

Of interesting note, the return to form coincided with the return of two of HHH’s great campaigners, Ants ‘Finis-h-er’ Comerford and Tor Skinner Fairhall. Saturday also saw HHH debutant Darren thrown deep into the mix, being handed the responsibility of centre mid. But didn’t he do well.  

Going into the match HHH had been wary of the young 'uns. They’d looked fit, fast, skilled and generally quite a formidable opposition. The first quarter was an evenly contested affair and it wasn’t until the second quarter that a breakthrough came thru the foot of ‘Silky’ Milky Irvine. Bringing the ball beautifully under control ‘Silky’ glided around a defender and slotted a silky shot tight into the bottom left corner. 1-0. A well-fought lead battled out hard into the wind saw HHH going confident into the second half.

The second half produced a further two goals for HHH’s tally, and both coming from the able boot of Ants ‘Finis-h-er’ Comerford (which takes him to third highest HHH Summer League scorer of all time). Ants’ first came thru the aid of Soperstar pouncing on a critical goal-keeper error. Poor little guy. The goalkeeper miss-kicked a pass out of the box for Soperstar to sweep onto and effortlessly flick to Ants to send soundly home. Too easy.

However there was nothing simple about Ants’ second goal. Excellent turn of pace by Darren down the right flank flying past Barca players and delivering a sharp pass into the box gratefully greeting the boot of Ants ‘Finis-h-er’ Comerford to one-touch rocket the ball deep into the Barca net. Outstanding!

Final score 3-1 (we gave them a consolation goal towards the end, they’re so little we just felt sorry for them).

Winner of the week

Ants ‘Fins-h-er’ Comerford – two well deserved goals

Fines and points of note

• Defence excellent, Andy P using his head – superb clearing headers
• Tor and Lester also brilliant defence unfortunately both guilty of not using their heads – fake header a piece (fines also one a piece)
• Kenning gets the ‘Most Improved’ award for not only extending his usual ‘I’m only playing a half’ to playing three whole quarters, but he also managed to achieve this while nursing an aggravated groin injury - don’t worry Crack is back next week and I’m sure he'll massage it for you (fine for sustaining a groin injury).
• Silky, well taken goal and first goal in Summer League
• Daz and Dancer - nice movement and creative plays helping to set us up into perfect goal scoring positions
• Daz yes a good game but fine for passing it, and may I add softly, to their keeper. Crack it next time son - but not in the Simon Crack, bobble it sense of the phrase.
• Dancer take a fine for not beating up on the 8 year old left wing – as Pester put it ‘He’s gotta learn some time, just smash him’.
• Soaps well pounced, not bad attacking vision for a goal keeper (although take a fine for like Daz missing a one-on-one)

by The Mighty Tor, Chief Press Officer, HHH United

Mighty HHH made their challenge for the Coolmoves Shield at the weekend. Massey Coolmoves the Canterbury of the Summer League have held an unrelenting grasp on the shield and haven’t really looked like letting it slip. But HHH (trying to pull off a North Harbour) were a confident bunch and currently on one of their longest unbeaten streaks in Summer League history (a glorious win two weeks ago followed by a successful postponement last week). We were definitely psyched and aching to continue our good form. However some bloody potato eating, pushing fifty year old rockers had flown into Dauckland causing us to lose a few key players, and to play with a skeleton line-up.

Being that some of us have been saucing heavily, chowing down kebabs, and lazing around day after day hungover on Mediterranean beaches for the past seven months while doing about as much physical exercise as Craig ‘Burger King’ McMillan (actually I’m basically only referring to myself, but even with all that said I probably about average fitness for our team) a squad of nine with no subs was going to be a big ask. Thankfully good ol Pete came to the rescue allowing us the pleasure of one sub. Cheers for keeping for us mate, muchly appreciated.

Anyway to the game. Best summarised by a table of statistics I think.

HHH United	STATS	Massey Coolmoves
739	Shots	7
4*	Shots on Target	3
1	Goals	3
4	Corners	4
50	Possession	50
3	Fouls	2

Note all these statistics are based on my now vague-ish memory of a game that took place 48 hours ago. And since then I’ve filled my brain with many new and wonderful memories. Some ten-pin bowling (no I don’t live in the Hutt), an outstanding game of All Black rugby, copious internet research (bye bye soccer memories, hello stimulating new titbits), and successfully with the help of beer I’ve managed to shut down a few more of those pesky synapses in the old brain.
* this includes Si’s thundering snap shot – sorry mate but it had to be noted.   

As you can see from the table above possession was equally shared and the game was actually quite evenly contested, and if anything I might hazard to say we looked the more likely of the two teams. Our midfield were terrific, tirelessly tussling for every ball, never giving up. Outstanding commitment was shown by Brick in the centre of the park always battling no matter what the odds, a 50-50 or a 10-90 no difference - One word. Milky again another silky performance with some delicate flicks on, a back-heel pass, and constantly keeping the defenders on their toes. Dancer as always brilliant. In honesty probably responsible for 731 of our shots, but what matters is the one that counted. Epic strike - clinical. Love your work. 

Our team’s versatility was also on display that day. Brendanopolis showing he can play striker, midfield, defender and offender (how about that mo?). Si also showed himself as a good utility, playing some handy football, working hard, and always making it difficult for his opposite number. Andy P too having another solid game and quickly regaining fitness after two big set-backs, a large internal haemorrhage of mega proportions (appendicitis is no laughing matter), and recovering from the world’s biggest bender (fireworks and alcohol not a good combo for the young man). 

With three goals against it may seem strange to praise the defence, but all in all they put in a respectable performance. Kenning again absolutely superb, impenetrable and after some good loving attention from his captain Pester he is showing little sign of his play-hampering groin injury. Tor battling S.A.R.S. also fought well at the back, and beside a critical brain explosion got on with the game and even had a couple of shots. Which this reporter believes begs the question given the chance in a more attacking role and with a few extra paces closer to the goal this young Tor might even show some promise as a goal scorer, or at least a provider. Certainly wasted in defence. Although this reporter will keep his opinions to himself if the options for the poor lad are defence or assistant to the assistant to the orange boy.

Up front there was Pester. Plenty of running, taking on defenders, sprinting down the side-line and crossing balls into the box. Also doing his bit to help the defence and creating some nice moves in the middle of the park. Not much of a shot on him though. Plays more like a midfielder. Makes you wonder what the manager (I wonder who that is) was thinking selecting him as striker. Maybe someone else deserves a Crack (not literally - not until you overcome your fear of…….. ‘the bobble’). We’ll leave that up for debate.

Anyway 3-1, but a commendable performance all round, and I’d also like to thank Massey Coolmoves for one of the cleanest and fairest games of Summer League football I’ve ever taken part in. Cheers guys enjoyed a well fought game.

Fines

• Brick – fantastic game mate, but an open goal, that’s an open mouth and a full beer.

• Pester – great player, but unfortunately no striker, take a drink for your attempted thigh of the ball into the goal.

• B – love the mo. And in honour of it all those without a mo at next week’s game will get an automatic drink.

• Si – great shot. Jug skull.

• Tor – say ‘No’ to slide tackles. Now say ‘Yes’ to jug skull.

Player of the day
A hard decision, everyone played well, Dancer a pearler of a goal, Milky a top notch game. But if we must choose one it will have to be Brick for his full on commitment to the cause. Nice one. Just deposit the money in my account as agreed – good lad.

by Obscured Vision

Match Photos

In the early stages, it was The Originals who threatened the most. Whilst in-form AndyCapped striker Phil Jones provided a constant menace, the solid Os defence were as strong as their stingy goals against stat suggests. Stand-in keeper Michael Wray was reduced to clearing away long punts that the Cappers optimistically sent in for Jones to chase.

The Originals twice came close to taking the lead. A Du Plessis free kick from the edge of the area was seen late by Corb Tate. Tate parried the shot aside, with a groan from a forced exhalation that was audible from the other end of the pitch. Lee Westlake was then denied by a long-range effort that curled away from the immobile Tate before bouncing back off the post. Eventually, Du Plessis opened the scoring late in the second quarter to give the Os a lead they deserved.

During the second half, the Originals continued to play their cultured possession football, knocking the ball patiently around the back. However, going in to the fourth quarter the Caps exerted a greater degree of physicality to their play, creating gaps in the opposing back line and looking the more likely to score.

With seven minutes remaining, a cut back to an unmarked Phil Jones just inside the area was firmly struck goalwards: 

Keeper Michael Wray leapt towards the ball for what would have been a fine save, but it was not to be.

A few minutes later, Paul Mouncey found himself on the edge of the area with defenders backing off him. He launched a powerful effort low and to the left of the keeper. Wray denied the big man from giving the Cappers the lead, getting down well to stop the shot from sneaking just inside the post.

With the game running out, the rampant Jones collected the ball inside the area and with no-one between him and the keeper charged towards the Originals' goal. Wray steadied himself for the effort and with Maarty Romijn preparing to close down the forward, Jones hit a terrific shot to the near post. Wray was able to get behind it, but found it too fierce to hold. As he tried to get the ball under control, Jones approached to clean up and Wray kicked the ball away for a corner whilst still on the ground.

Ultimately, the Caps will be happy to have come from behind, but the failure to convert the late pressure into more than a single goal may leave them thinking of what could have been. In the meantime, it is the turn of Massey Coolmoves to try and prevent the red hot Jones from scoring again next.

by The Mighty Tor, Chief Press Officer, HHH United

Match Photos

A Turning Point?

Saturday’s game was a ‘must win’ for the H.H.H. lads, especially if they’re aiming for a podium finish. Or more importantly another win would distance them further from an impending hat-trick of wooden spoons. No one likes a spoon, unless it’s Sonny Spoon.

Stand-in player/manager for the day Brendanopolis forced into a tight spot at the start of the match with only eight players had to make a snap decision moving smartly to secure the services of Lee. As things would turn out the decision was monumental. About five minutes into the game Dazzer flung a gem of a ball out to Lee making a gliding run down the left flank, latching onto the ball and neatly tucking it home. One – nil H.H.H. Credit to Dazzer for the ball, Lee for the finish and Brendanolpolis for the signing.

H.H.H. boys played with passion in the first half and looked likely to notch up their first ever win against Black Magic. Our defence was resolute. Brick was the impenetrable wall, barricading against onslaught upon onslaught. Flanking him his turrets Masty and Tor kept the pacemen of Black Magic under wraps and altogether they protected their King Mikey and his White Castle.

Dazzer again impressed in the middle of the park, leading his squadron, laying on some fantastic balls and helping to quell many an attack before it even got started. He was duly aided by his wingmen who flew at pace down the flanks, darting in and out between enemy bogies and firing in missiles deep into enemy territory. Dancer dangerous as always, be it scoring goals as last week, or setting them up. Lee full cred for playing for us, love your work. (By the way the transfer window is open – we’ll even make it worth your while. Do you like beer? Otherwise Crack is offering group hugs. However he’s only invited you. Personally I’d choose beer.)

The up front pairing of Blake Zoolander and Brendanopolis maintained a constant pressure on Black Magic and eventually through the really really really ridiculously good looking boot of Blake Zoolander we chalked up our second goal. Great ball Dancer, top notch.

Super sub Milky also gave them some extra grief in the final quarter and kept the intensity up for HHH, who so often in the past have let games slip in the last quarter.

With literally nanoseconds remaining on the clock what was about to be a triumphant five pointer for the lads sadly turned into a four pointer. Hot goal from Black Magic though. Well struck, and you have to strike it pretty well these days to beat our king Mikey in goal.

Two – One final result. But all round as most of the boys would agree one of the most pleasurable games we’ve been involved in. Truly a beautiful display of the ‘Beautiful Game’. Thanks also to Black Magic for a challenging, enjoyable, clean game. Cheers guys.

Player of the day: The whole team played brilliantly, but if I was to name one it would be Dazzer for an outstanding game dominating the middle of the park.

Legal proceedings disrupt team

In stark comparison to the preceding week most HHH players were in town and up for the game. However to avoid a bench larger than our starting line-up some good buggers stood down leaving an ample squad of twelve. So why was it that moments before kick-off the Hs had less than a bare nine? Whose excuses were valid, and whose were not?

The following are transcripts from the recent court hearing.

Court’s in session
Would everyone please rise for the honourable judge Tor.

---

Case One:      H.H.H. versus Tim Kenning’s groin

Plea:                Debilitating groinal injury preventing play and needing to be rested before his upcoming performances with Hunkmania uncovered.

Verdict:            I find Tim INNOCENT on the count of sitting out a game. However in the interest of his groin I deem it necessary he find a girlfriend and get himself back in shape. Limber up all of your muscles, and I mean ALL. Otherwise they’ll wither way to nothing just like Coach told me. Don’t settle for a hug. (Note Tim if you can’t find a girlfriend Crack may have a spare. In the past he’s been known to have two girlfriends)

---

 Case two:        H.H.H. versus Joss Opie

Plea:                Claims he had no idea where or when the game was.

Verdict:            GUILTY on one account of not knowing where the game was. When has summer league ever been played on a different ground? I sentence you to a skull of one full pint. However I find the defendant INNOCENT on charges of not knowing when the game was. In his defence he attempted to contact Mr. Pester, but as per normal he was blanked. Which brings me to my third case.

Prosecution:     On behalf of the prosecution, I must submit an appeal against the innocent verdict for Mr Opie with regard to the time of the match. All fixtures have been in the public domain on the official league website since their release in October.

Plaintiff:           The prosecution is simply being pedantic.

Verdict:            GUILTY on all accounts. The inability to use the internet is not an acceptable excuse.

---

Case Three:    H.H.H. and countless others versus Pester, his cell phone and his taunts

Plea:                None allowed. We’ve all heard enough of your gibberish.

Verdict:            The question must be asked - Pester why do you even have a cell phone? It’s always sitting at home, left at work, or even better completely switched off. And when was the last time you made a call from it? I along with Chumpsquire, Firsts and everyone else you’ve ever accused of being cheap or useless find you GUILTY to the highest degree of being both cheap and useless. You are in fact the equivalent of a blind armless two dollar Crackwh#$%. (Not a Simon Crack, he’s quality, well that’s what Masty said)

---

Case Four:      H.H.H. versus Soperstar and Jon Rowe

Plea:                Unknown

Verdict:            GUILTY of committing the most heinous of crimes - Not turning up. As I have not been supplied with your plea I can only hazard to guess that both of you were nursing hangovers after a particularly large session of Friday saucing and skirt chasing. Being that I am partial to both of these pursuits I will grant you a lighter sentence than the one traditionally handed down for a crime of such magnitude. One jug skull each. (Be thankful you could have found yourself playing your next game in your undies if Pester had his way).

Statement:        While I accept the charges:
Would like to point out that while a sound accusation could be levelled at both myself and The SoperStar for both 'saucing' and 'skirt chasing' on Friday - I don't ever recall getting the nod from the gaffa that I'd made the team sheet - in fact, I'm positive that was not communicated.

Moreover, I was hanging out for it all week, and the various semi-lewd acts of the 8-hour Friday bender were largely a result of the mental lashing my fragile ego received as a consequence of non-selection.

Therefore, I would like to lodge a counter claim against the gaffa for: (i) causing a large degree of mental anguish on my part (apparently unnecessarily) through poor/average communication; (ii) consequently causing the emptying of my bank account on Friday evening/Saturday morning; (iii) tarnishing my previous clean slate.

---

Following court proceedings, HHH Management issued the following press release :

In the case Rowe v. Gaffa i.e. best Football Manager since Jesus -

HHH custom requires that the actual starting line-up is not announced until 2 minutes prior to kick-off. There are sound reasons for this, as laid out in the HHH constitution, signed and dated on 3 October, 2001 (a copy of which is held in Dunedin's Hocken Library archives). The constitution states:

"Due to the transient and irreverent nature of much of the HHH squad, the Manager reserves discretion to announce the squad at late notice.

This serves the dual purpose of disguising the line-up from opposition to avert any advantage they may gain from strategising and also enhances the HHH tradition of playing a Corinthian, i.e. unconventional and at times chaotic, style of football. Only the strong survive etcetera."

To contend against the accusations directed by Monsiuer Rowe - the mental anguish and fatigue claimed did not preclude this young Bert Sutcliffe from blasting 76 runs not out in a local club cricket match on Saturday. Great form (and somewhat more impressive than Crack's 9 ball duck), but mutinous indeed.

Furthermore, custom states that unless one volunteers to stand down or it is requested due to rotational requirements, one turns up. Skirt chasing and chug-a-lugging may occur before and after the match, or even during if you are Tor and have a penchant for the Man-Crack, but attendance is essential.

In sum, sorry for the miscommunication Rowe. I blame the Soperstar of lurrve. He got the email and should know better but his only excuse was that he was slipping the light fandango with his recently acquired Hawaiian massage therapist.

In Joss' defence he did call twice on my cellphone, which was residing in Wellington, while I was, err, in Christchurch. My humble excuse is that chicks dig ludditism, cellphones are so last week.

We won, who cares. Winning is gooooood.

---

          We will bring you more on this scandal as it develops.
 

Andy Capped, the Coolmoves Shield-holders and the form team of the Jessett Cup, have been rocked by the sensational walk-out of their star goal-keeper, Corb Tate. Tate failed to appear at a team debrief on Sunday and Cappers management have since confirmed that the keeper will be unavailable for "an indefinite period". In fact, Tate was rumoured to be seen boarding an international flight at Wellington Airport on Monday but this development has yet to be confirmed.

Details over what prompted the dramatic walk-out are sketchy. Amid the celebrations that immediately followed the Capper's epic shield victory last Saturday, it has been reported that there was an altercation between Tate and right-back Alan Mouncey. An unnamed source attached to the Capper's squad has accused Tate of making unsavoury remarks to Mouncey about his on-field appearance. The source alleges that Tate said to Mouncey, "You're a footballer, not Krusty the Clown". Cappers management would neither confirm nor deny the allegation but did acknowledge that Tate was a committed professional who took pride in his appearance both on and off the pitch. Mouncey played Saturday's match in a non-regulation pair of blue and white hooped socks.

When contacted yesterday, Mouncey was initially reluctant to comment but when pushed, had this to say "I couldn't find my black socks, but the red nose was really just a bit of a cold that I've picked up. Besides, I'd rather look like Santa Claus than Buzz Lightyear in drag!" It seems this last remark was a slur directed at some of the absent keeper's more flamboyant goal-keeping attire.

However, in a dramatic late development it seems that Tate may have been upset by events prior to kick-off. The father of a young fan eager to witness Tate's legendary warm-up routine, says the keeper spent a number of minutes removing what appeared to be "dog hairs" from his custom-made latex goal-keeping gloves shortly before commencing his routine. The man said that Tate was clearly "not happy...and appeared to be quite angry by the time he'd removed the last one". And in a final twist, it has also been reported that the voice of a distraught female was heard coming from the overgrown bush behind the Mt Albert stadium several times during Saturday's match. The unknown woman's cries of "Here Lassie, here Lassie...where are you boy" were clearly audible and continued well beyond the full-time whistle.
 

Widespread Goalkeeper Crisis
This weekend saw the league's goalkeeper crisis reach an all-time zenith. Of the more regular keepers that the league has seen several are totally absent in 2006/07 and those that have been present boast a poor collective attendance record. Not a single team can claim to have used less than three keepers. Black Magic are up to four and whilst we have not tracked all of the Barca players to have been put between the sticks, we know it is at least three and most likely four or five - possibly even higher.

The itinerant Corb Tate has again abandoned the Cappers, perhaps realising that the taking of the Shield represented a high that could not be matched. Last season, Corb was not seen post-christmas and this is all deja vu for a team that has been in its best form ever. Their usual stand-in, Ben Parsons was also absent this week, so Michael Wray made his second Summer League appearance for AndyCapped.

Regular Gareth Knight has not been seen by the Black Magic since last season, causing George Aranyi and Wade De Graff, amongst others, to adopt a rotation policy as the Magic's usually resolute defence has attracted an unusually porous quality this season. Even Lee Westlake has been used as a custodian in one match. We're not sure of the identity of their fourth try-out, but we think it was Mario Hatzilamprou.

The Originals are another team to have used three keepers so far this season. Having lost Michael Wray to HHH after the opening season, they lined up in season three without make-shift keeper Johnny De Gregorio. The man who mainly kept them to ultimate glory in 2005/06, Johnny was last seen with an arm in cast and sling. This season, they have promoted Peter Lye to the back-line, but borrowed Michael Wray a couple of times and Ben Parsons once.

Even HHH have been hit by the crisis. The consistency at the back gained from the theft of stalwart keeper Michael Wray from the Os for season two has been disrupted in 2006/07, with Wray twice being unavailable. They have used three different keepers in the seven matches leading up to the christmas break. Cover has been provided via call ups to Simon Crack for Wray's first absence and Peter Lye for the second. Whilst the HHH defence has never been statistically tight in Summer League, this season has seen a resulting level of generosity unmatched since their first season.

The Massey Coolmoves are another team to have required three different keepers. Scott Helson has missed two matches. Michael Wray has filled in for one and the team rotated a makeshift replacement from the outfield for the other.

For their part, newbies Barca Bay have yet to find a regular goalie at all. They have turned to a series of short-term loan signings in the form of George Aranyi from the Magic and Peter Lye from the Originals for half of their matches. The remainder have seen a outfield players rotated.

For this weekend's action, Michael Wray played in all three matches, conceding all but one of the goals to be scored. We caught up with him to discuss his view of all three games and talk us through the goals as he saw them.

---

Massey Coolmoves 3 The Originals 0
Match Photos
The Originals faced a selection crisis that extended throughout the entire squad and not just to the choice of keeper. They started the match with just 8 players - the 9th, Paul Thomson, only arriving at the match after several minutes of action had taken place. To help get through the problem, Peter Lye was transferred to an outfield position for the first time this season and ex-player Michael Wray borrowed from HHH. This was his second appearance for the Os in 2006/07 and his twelfth overall for the men in grey and red.

Wray talked us through the match...
This is the fourth time that I've played in a game with Massey. I faced them twice last season for HHH and they scored freely against me, so I was all too aware of how lethal their strikeforce can be. I also played for them against the Originals in the first leg of this fixture earlier this season and was impressed with the solidity of their backline. They made it easy to keep goal and provide cover. My playing time with the Originals too has generally impressed me with their defensive composure. They make few mistakes and pass the ball around in a controlled fashion. I was therefore expecting a tight game with few goals at either end.

In the 6th minute, I think it was Paul or Sam who played a misplaced pass near the edge of the area. Mark Leeming came running in to pounce on the ball and bring it into the area.
As I came out to meet him, he struck it powerfully. It came in to my right at a little below waist height. I stuck out a hand towards it and made contact, but not enough to prevent it going in.

The 16th minute is a moment I'd rather forget. The wind was fierce blowing in to the banked end, so I was generally staying close to the line to avoid getting caught out whenever keeping at that end during the day. A long lob into the area came from the left wing, courtesy of Cliff Young. Seeing the ball taken by the wind, I knew that I was going to be able to collect it unchallenged. Calling off any defenders, I came to collect it from the bounce. The ball hit the ground about 10 yards away and took an almighty bounce up. Caught by surprise at the height the ball took, I back pedalled towards my line and leapt up with an outstretched hand to try and tip the ball to safety. I couldn't reach it.
It came down under the cross bar and into the corner. Shortly after, I dropped a corner and needed Nick Kyne to block the resulting shot from the line, so I wasn't having a good quarter.

The third Massey goal was a simple goal. Wido Van Lijf got on to the end of a through ball, virtually down the middle. With Paul Muollo chasing him down, sliding in at the end, Van Lijf poked his shot off past me just as I arrived to close him down. In the fourth quarter, a horrendous back pass was sliced high and in to no mans land outside the area. Instead of just hoofing it, I tried to pass the ball over a Massey forward to an unmarked team mate. Instead, the ball was intercepted as I failed to connect properly with the bounce. The shot came in as I backtracked to cover the goal from a lob and I was able to get a hand behind it. It proceeded goalward, possibly from another shot possibly with its own momentum (I forget), bounced just in front of the line and cleared over the cross bar!

In the second half, Scott Helson faced a bouncer, similar to the effort that embarrassed Wray for the second Massey goal. As the ball looped over, Scott was able to divert it with his fingertips and collect the ball as it came down.

---

HHH United 1 Barca Bay 1
Match Photos
In stark contrast to The Originals, HHH found themselves with an unprecedented surplus. The team that could only field 8 players, relying on a loan import to make up the numbers, until the 4th quarter of their game two weeks ago lined up a squad of 14. Manager Justin Lester faced the headache of accommodating the whole squad without sacrificing on-pitch continuity - a difficult challenge, which it is not clear was entirely achieved.

Barca Bay turned to Peter Lye for the week's goalkeeping duties for the second consecutive week. With the Hs on their best unbeaten streak for two years and Barca having won their first Summer League match ever, both teams had reason to look forward to the match with optimism.

The first half of the match saw the wind assisted Hs dominate. Steve Gadd scored early, dribbling the ball into the area, jinking right and left around Peter Lye before rolling the ball into the open net.
Whilst HHH enjoyed the greater possession for the remainder of the half, suffering little threat in return, they were unable to add to the tally. Against a young, energetic and confident side like Barca, such a lead appeared to be fragile playing into the wind and it took only minutes for the Bay to draw level.

Wray described the goal:
The usually dependable Brick got caught in possession on the edge of the area. In most un-Brick-like fashion, he struggled to control the ball and allowed Jamie Milne to steal it. I came to close Jamie and ready myself for the shot, but he had far too much time and space for me to be able to prevent the goal or even come close to preventing the goal. Brick has saved clear goals when I've been beaten in games previously, so he's earned a break, but I was still pissed.

Following the equaliser, Barca went on to provide the stronger overall challenge to the Hs. They looked the most likely to score a winner and reversed the possession stats of the first half. However, of the two keepers, it was Lye who called on to make several saves and it was HHH who came the closest to scoring a winner.

Jon Rowe ballooned an effort over the bar from a cross ball that presented him with an open goal from only a few yards out. A draw was probably the fairer result, but given that easy HHH miss and the gift that was the Barca goal, the Hs must be feeling the greater disappointment of dropped points.

---

AndyCapped 0 Black Magic 1
Match Photos
Fresh from capturing the Coolmoves Shield for the first time in their history and facing a Black Magic team on its worst ever sequence of defeats, the Cappers had every reason to be confident. In particular, Phil Jones was looking to continue his incredible scoring spree

The game was a tight one with few chances at either end. Both teams appeared to prefer pushing through balls for their forwards to chase, with each defence and keeper happy to mop things up fairly comfortably. Black Magic applied the greater of the pressure during the first half, but the Cappers defence kept genuine opportunities at a premium with Wray only really having one effort from Matt Kolic to deal with. In the second half, it was the Cappers who had the greater balance of play until the penalty...

Wray on the match:
I must admit that my one previous experience of playing for AndyCapped in Summer League competition had me expecting to be busy. The last time I played for them, I found the defence to be very loose and afforded little real protection. Today, was the complete opposite. Both Greg and Richard at centre-back were strong, providing great cover. The only threats were coming from overlaps down either wing and either Greg or Richard complemented the fullback's cover to shut down most moves.

The penalty came from some Black Magic pressure in the second half. I forget who put the ball in, possibly George, but as I moved across to cover the post from the shot, I saw Joe standing 3 or 4 yards ahead of me stick out his arm and handle the ball. It was a clear penalty. I continued to move across to cover the rebound, hoping the ref had missed it, but the incident was too clear to be missed and the penalty was awarded. It was a shame, as there was no immediate danger of the ball finding its way in and it just appeared to be a reflex action on the part of Joe.

Mike Musso lined up to take the penalty and struck the ball low to my left. I'd correctly read the direction and got my left hand to the ball, but the power of the shot meant my touch was not firm to divert it away. As the ball was struck and I saw it was within reach, I really thought I was going to get to it and I'm disappointed not to have saved the penalty.

In the break between the 3rd and 4th quarters, I asked Phil whether he'd want me to push up and attack at corners if the score was still 1-0 in the final few minutes. Under the new scoring scheme, a 1-0 defeat still gains a point, so the instruction was not to risk it.... pity, I've never scored!

Thus, the Coolmoves Shield goes back to where it started and Black Magic upset the form books to become the new holders over the christmas break.

The draw for the Wild Card weekend was completed on January 20, with commissioner Peter Lye presiding over proceedings.

With the postponed games being played on the make-up weekend coinciding with the preceding week's fixtures, an additional stipulation was introduced to prevent three consecutive weeks of identical fixtures.

Hence, as well as each team not being able to be paired with themselves, one other team was ruled out of bounds for each fixture. HHH United would not be able to meet AndyCapped, Black Magic would not be able to meet Massey Coolmoves and Barca Bay would not be able to meet The Originals. There was some speculation that the last match-up would be allowed to occur if it was needed to make the rest of the draw work, given that these teams played their postponed fixture before christmas, but in the event it was academic.

The draw has resulted in the following final fixtures:

The Originals	Vs	HHH United
Barca Bay	Vs	Black Magic
AndyCapped	Vs	Massey Coolmoves

Kick-off times and referee assignments have not yet been decided and will not be announced until 29 January.

The draw has presented AndyCapped with a tough tie, as they seek to establish a first ever Final berth. However, the last meeting between these sides produced a 3-1 win for the Cappers and they will have the psychological edge against a Massey side going through a patch of poor form. Black Magic were said to be particularly pleased at this match-up being produced, "we believe we will only need to get ahead of one of these teams in order to qualify for the Grand Final. With the two being paired, we should have control of our destiny. They can't both win, so if we win our game we should overtake whichever team loses this match. The only thing that concerns us is if they draw. Given the value of draws in this year's competition we must get a result this weekend to ensure our final placing is controlled by only our result. "

HHH United were undaunted about facing a team they have yet to beat. A spokesman for the Hs pointed to the Os' current form as a reason to be optimistic, stating that this was an opportunity for the under achievers, "we've beaten Barca, Massey and the Magic this season. We're upbeat about taking the points from the Cappers this weekend too, having lost to them against the run of play last week. So we see facing the Originals as a chance to claim the only missing scalp for this season." The only real disappointment for either of these teams is that it rules out any possibility of a last chance at claiming the Coolmoves Shield.

The big money clash pitches together the two form teams, with Barca taking on Black Magic. Both struggled in the first half of the competition and have only recently hit their stride. The youngsters at Barca Bay were particularly pleased as, depending on results in the forthcoming week, they could anticipate a final crack at winning the Coolmoves Shield.

We have five games left before entering the playoffs, giving us a reasonable opportunity of forecasting the probabilities of each team's finals seeding.

For any given round robin match, there are five possible combinations of point sharing. Spread across the remaining fixtures, there are 3125 different combinations of possible outcomes.

The following ignores the relative strengths of each team and treats each match's possible outcome as equally likely. Common sense assumptions or proportions have been applied where teams would need to to go goal difference to seek their final placing within each combination. For the sake of relative simplicity, this ignores the possibility of the wild card draw undergoing rearrangement to avoid a repeat Grand Final match-up from the wild cards.

Massey Coolmoves
The current table leaders are scheduled to finish their round robin against tough opposition. As well as completing the second leg of their fixtures against third placed Black Magic, they have a wild card collision with AndyCapped. We have the current number one team facing both of the only other teams who can also finish first.

Final League Position	Probability
First	60.54 %
Second	24.13 %
Third	15.04 %
Fourth	0.29 %
Fifth	-
Sixth	-
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
AndyCapped	67.95 %	-	-	57.54 %
Barca Bay	1.02 %	28.39 %	-	5.22 %
Black Magic	28.00 %	0.42 %	-	23.78 %
HHH United	2.99 %	39.04 %	-	4.96 %
The Originals	0.04 %	32.15 %	-	8.51 %

In other words, Massey have a 60.54% probability of playing in the Grand Final. In the event of them making the Grand Final, there is a 67.95% chance that their opponents will be AndyCapped. Overall, Massey have a 57.54% chance of meeting AndyCapped on the final day.

AndyCapped
The Cappers would appear to be facing the two extremes of fixture friendliness. They face the bottom of the table HHH United followed by the top of the table Massey Coolmoves. With Black Magic looking to chase them down, AndyCapped are going to have to shake off their reputation as perennial chokers to book a first ever Grand Finals appearance. There is only a remote chance of them participating in their third consecutive wooden spoon playoff and an even more remote chance that such an occurrence would involve their traditional opponent of HHH United.

Final League Position	Probability
First	29.09 %
Second	43.78 %
Third	21.15 %
Fourth	5.38 %
Fifth	0.61 %
Sixth	-
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
Barca Bay	-	18.94 %	-	5.02 %
Black Magic	20.95 %	5.91 %	-	16.83 %
HHH United	0.09 %	0.42 %	5.26 %	12.90 %
Massey Coolmoves	78.96 %	48.25 %	-	57.54 %
The Originals	-	27.02 %	94.74 %	7.74 %

If AndyCapped make the final, then it is not possible for either Barca or the Os to join them.

Black Magic
The Magic are looking to return to the stage they vacated last season and once more contest a Grand Final. After slumbering for much of the early season, they appear to have turned round their fortunes and to have control of their own fortunes. At least this is what they can console themselves with from facing the number one team in the league. Their other fixture is no pushover either, as they face the similarly resurgent Barca Bay who are themselves making a late run at the playoffs.

Final League Position	Probability
First	10.37 %
Second	28.61 %
Third	41.02 %
Fourth	11.23 %
Fifth	8.38 %
Sixth	0.38 %
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
AndyCapped	39.16 %	3.00 %	-	16.83 %
Barca Bay	-	51.87 %	-	27.10 %
HHH United	-	23.52 %	38.69 %	15.68 %
Massey Coolmoves	60.84 %	0.12 %	-	23.78 %
The Originals	-	21.56 %	61.31%	16.64 %

For the Magic to play in the Grand Final, they can only face two possible opponents. Hence, there are at least three teams hoping they don't get there.

Barca Bay
The youngsters from Barca have most likely left their recovery too late. A place in the Grand Final is all but a mathematical impossibility, though they are not the longest shots. There is more chance of them contesting the wooden spoon than any other final day match, although a third place playoff is very possible. With only one match remaining to be played, and for it to be against the form team of the moment, Barca are going to need to beat the odds.

Final League Position	Probability
First	-
Second	0.86 %
Third	15.30 %
Fourth	28.67 %
Fifth	41.79 %
Sixth	13.38 %
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
AndyCapped	-	11.43 %	-	5.02 %
Black Magic	-	61.64 %	-	27.10 %
HHH United	-	9.61 %	42.17 %	27.49 %
Massey Coolmoves	100.00 %	9.90 %	-	5.22 %
The Originals	-	7.50 %	57.83 %	35.20 %

The only scenarios that allow Barca to contest the Grand Final produce only one final opponent - Massey.

The Originals
The only team to have contested every Grand Final so far, require a miracle to make it three in a row. They are an absolute outside bet, despite having only one game left to play against a team that they have never lost to. A more realistic aim for the veterans is to avoid having to play in their first wooden spoon playoff.

Final League Position	Probability
First	-
Second	0.03 %
Third	0.38 %
Fourth	26.27 %
Fifth	26.34 %
Sixth	46.98 %
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
AndyCapped	-	26.89 %	0.79 %	7.74 %
Barca Bay	-	12.36 %	43.52 %	35.20 %
Black Magic	-	42.26 %	7.33 %	16.64 %
HHH United	-	-	48.32 %	35.42 %
Massey Coolmoves	100.00 %	18.49 %	-	4.96 %

Given that the Os need large victories from Massey and the Hs against the Cappers, plus record a large win themselves against HHH as well as not have Black Magic gain too much from Barca, it is little wonder the only team they could possibly face in a Grand Final would produce a repeat of the 2005/06 big match.

HHH United
The team that has "won" the Wooden Spoon, losing each of the shame games to AndyCapped in previous seasons, looks most likely to participate in their traditional end of season match. However, with a game in hand over both Barca and The Originals, the Hs have every chance of leapfrogging their way into a third place playoff. They can even afford to lose their match against the Cappers, as whatever that result it is the wild card match against the Originals that is going to decide their final day activities - though beating AndyCapped could leave them only needing a draw from the wild cards. A long shot chance at the Grand Final does exist, but depends on many other results going their way.

Final League Position	Probability
First	-
Second	2.59 %
Third	7.14 %
Fourth	28.16 %
Fifth	22.85 %
Sixth	39.26 %
Final Opponents in Final Match	Grand Final	3rd/4th Playoff	Wooden Spoon	Overall
AndyCapped	2.47 %	36.26 %	0.05%	12.90 %
Barca Bay	-	11.97 %	37.45 %	27.49 %
Black Magic	-	34.81 %	5.46 %	15.68 %
Massey Coolmoves	97.53 %	16.95 %	-	4.96 %
The Originals	-	-	57.03 %	35.42 %

If HHH are to end their season against rivals AndyCapped, as per every summer league season so far, then they are most likely going to need to get into the third place playoff. Unfortunately for fans of tradition, it appears the usual end of season spoon match with the Cappers is unlikely.

The Commissioner has said, "Wild card games will go ahead as scheduled except if following this Sunday’s games 1st & 2nd spots (the Grand Finalists) are confirmed. If that occurs there may be a rearrangement of the ‘wildcard’ draw so that we don’t have the Grand Finalists playing on consecutive weeks. It will also take the pressure off any teams who have ‘availability issues’ due to the 7s. If 1st and 2nd spots are not confirmed after Sunday’s games the Wildcard draw will go ahead as published on Sat 3rd Feb."

With the two catch-up games this weekend, there are 25 different possible combination of point distributions. Of those, only 3 can leave us with the top two confirmed.

If AndyCapped beat HHH by more than one goal AND Massey beat Black Magic by any score, then it is an AndyCapped v Massey Coolmoves Grand Final. Similarly if Massey beat Black Magic by more than one goal AND AndyCapped beat HHH, it is an AndyCapped v Massey Coolmoves Grand Final.

If Massey and AndyCapped both win by 1 goal, then Black Magic could still steal second from AndyCapped. They would need to have Massey win their wild card by 2 goals and then win their own by 3 goals - though a 2 goal win would suffice if enough goals are scored for the Magic to finish with a greater overall goals scored figure than AndyCapped.

No team can lock in 4th, 5th and 6th this weekend. The wooden spoon playoff competitors will depend on the wild card results. The only thing we know for sure is that Massey Coolmoves will finish in the top four.

The rest of the top three can put themselves out of reach of 5th and 6th this weekend, but Barca, The Os and HHH must play the wild cards before they can know which final day match they will contend.

The late re-draw for this weekend's Wildcard round has led to accusations of corruption amongst the Summer League hierarchy. The accusations centre on the fortuitous change of fixture handed to second placed AndyCapped. The Cappers had been due to play the table topping Massey Coolmoves and with competition for a finals spot so tight, a loss for the Cappers was likely to see them run-down by the chasing pack in the race for second spot.

However, in a surprise move Thursday's redraw sees the Cappers listed to play bottom placed Originals. The Os are a mere shadow of the team that went all the way to Jessett Cup glory last season, and consensus amongst experts and pub hacks alike is that a run-out against the Os nigh on guarantees a maximum points haul for the Cappers. Such an outcome would all but ensure the Cappers a Grand Final berth.  

Accusations of meddling in the draw surfaced immediately. The Cappers have several high-profile contacts in the seedy underworld that engrosses Wellington's night time entertainment industry, and as such, the opportunity to "do a deal" could well have been stitched together with a Mafia-like efficiency that would have had the Sicilian connections in Black Magic baulking. All this led to a summerleague.net roving reporter covertly following Commissioner Lye to the showroom of a leading European motor vehicle dealer late yesterday. The reporter claims Commissioner Lye was carrying a large brown paper bag which appeared to contain - in our reporter's own words - "wads and wads of folding stuff!" Our reporter confronted the commissioner and asked him to explain his motives for sanctioning the re-draw and the source of his apparent good fortune?
 
Commissioner Lye's response was unrepentant "We simply took the opportunity to maximise our television revenue by moving one of the three fixtures to the Sunday slot" he said. The commissioner went on to explain "This is common practice across most leading domestic football leagues worldwide, so should come as no surprise. Out of necessity this required re-drawing the round as only HHH and Massey had sufficient players free of international duty and commercial commitments to field teams on Sunday." As for the cash the Commissioner stated "This is a refund I've recently received from the local Powerade bottler. I've been collecting all the empty bottles left at the Stadium for the last three seasons!" 

Whether this story gathers further momentum could well be dependent on the outcomes of the Wildcard weekend.

P

Rumours circulated around Mount Albert Park that the Finals Weekend would be graced from talent scouts looking for contestants for the inaugural series of New Zealand's Next Supermodel.

The prospect of stardom apparently went to the heads of several players, whose conduct was noticeably erratic on the sidelines.

First up was the groove shaker himself, Ricky Boyd:

However, his designer hairstyle and memorial Finals headband failed to make any impression on the scouts.

Brendan Gage's man-bag however went down a treat:

Unfortunately, he failed to make the final cut due to the man-bag's impact on the lines of his Adonis-like torso. When interviewed, he petulantly renamed his man-bag a man-satchel and stormed off for a facial.

Finally, there was a commotion on the sideline when Ryan Du Plessis displayed himself for the cameras. The Originals striker, armed with foreknowledge of the show's production some months back, had spent the off-season bulking up for the auditions. The slender forward from 2005/06 came in to 2006/07 much heavier and could be heard chanting beefcake! to himself before every match. As soon as he heard the scouts has arrived, he whipped off his clothes...

...... before proceeding to hold his best pose for as long as he could.

TVNZ have now announced that there will be no further production for the NZ version of the series. Du Plessis is to be crowned and will represent NZ for the World Title.

It will be a two man contest:

versus

Player

Team

Goals

As in previous seasons, the Finals day barbeque concluded with the 2006/07 season awards ceremony. Awards were handed out to the website administrator (to be shared with the accredited league photographer), assistant logistics coordinator, Coolmoves Shield winners, golden boot winner, player of the season and finally the Jessett Cup winners.

The Golden Boot was the first award of the day to be presented. With a three-way-tie at the top of the finisher's charts, the Cappers' hot shot Phil Jones was asked to make the ceremonial acceptance.

The hard working Black Magic midfielder Mike Jessett was awarded with the 2006/07 Player of the Season trophy:

For service to the Summer League, with duties that have included timekeeping, ball collecting, hydration administering, sausage sizzling and all-round logistical coordinating, Colin Reid received a special award:

Dedicated referee Gary Oosterbaan was rewarded for providing high-quality voluntary officiating services:

The webmaster and resident statto, Michael Wray was also rewarded:

Finally the Massey Coolmoves completed the handling of silverware with the presentation of the Jessett Cup:

	Rhys Cole becomes only the second AndyCapped player to score in three consecutive games.
	Barca Bay extend their record for games without defeat to 4 consecutive matches.
	Matt Kolic becomes the all-time leading goal scorer for Black Magic.
	Black Magic equal the team record for consecutive matches without win.
	Massey Coolmoves extend their record for consecutive games drawn and consecutive games without win.They equal the all-time record for consecutive draws, originally set by HHH United in 2004/05.
	Ryan Du Plessis becomes the all-time leading goal scorer for The Originals. He has now scored in more separate games than any other player in league history.

 Seasonal Milestones:

	Massey Coolmoves win the 2006/07 Jesset Cup.
	AndyCapped finish as runners up.
	Black Magic win the third place playoff.
	Barca Bay finish in fourth place.
	The Originals win the wooden spoon playoff to finish in fifth place.
	HHH United retain ownership of the wooden spoon.
	Barca Bay win the Coolmoves Shield and are the official 2006/07 Shield Champions.
	Phil Jones, Neil Cannell and Ryan Du Plessis share the 2006/07 Golden Boot.
	Black Magic workman Mike Jessett wins the 2006/07 player of the season award.

  Inside the Numbers:

	The 2006/07 season comprised of 36 games. This is 10 more than in any previous season.
	Unlike last season, there were no goalless games.
	Despite having only 3 playoff games, we still managed to have two penalty shootouts.
	123 different players participated (20.5 per team). Last season saw 91 (18.2 per team) and 2004/05 had 71 (17.75 average).
	Loan deals were once again prevalent after their introduction last season. Michael Wray played for 4 teams; Lee Westlake and Peter Lye played for 3 teams; Ben Parsons, George Aranyi, Paul Atkins, Richard Steel and Rod Lawson secured game time for 2 teams. Lee Westlake is the only player to have scored on a loan appearances.
	We managed to reverse last season's trend of reduced scoring rates. Each team averaged 1.89 goals per game against 1.5 from last season. We're not up to the 2.25 average from the inaugural season though.
	Similarly clean sheets split the previous two seasons, with 9 - six down on 2005/06 but six up on 2004/05.
	Excluding own goals, 53 different players scored goals. That's a huge increase on the previous two seasons (37 and 38).
	Despite the increased games and goals, we had only two hat-tricks. With neither person having achieved this in previous seasons, Paul Muollo remains the only player with multiple hat-tricks. There were 13 braces, up by 5 on previous seasons. Neil Cannell did it three times and Phil Jones did it twice.
	Phil Jones scored in six consecutive matches, doubling the record set in 2004/05. John Borley, Ryan Du Plessis and Rhys Cole managed three in a row. Ryan, along with seven others, also managed two in a row.
	Neil Cannell became the all-time leading goalscorer, overtaking Paul Muollo.
	In separate games, Ryan Du Plessis has now scored 10 times. That's one game more than Neil.
	We had 3 own goals, more than in previous seasons. One came from Carlo Petagna, one by Cliff Young and an unclaimed one from Massey.
	Lee Westlake played more matches this season than anyone. Across all seasons, Michael Wray has now played in more Summer League matches than any other player.
	The number of players who were ever-present for their teams fell from last season. With 8 players in 2004/05 and 12 in 2005/06, this season saw 9. They were Phil Jones, Dominic Scott, Mike Jessett, Steve Gadd, Mark Leeming, Neil Cannell, Lee Westlake, Paul Muollo and Peter Chung.